I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
