my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
