it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
