There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
