im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
well you can't waste a boner
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
