You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
