the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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