thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
