i just had sex bonerless
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
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