remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
