Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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