come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
