I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize