His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
