my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
