david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
