He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
