i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize