I'm lost and stupid without you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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