I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
