There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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