you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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