so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
