Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
