Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
