i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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