I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
