mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
