I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
