I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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