Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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