it hurts more in the daytime
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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