I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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