I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
