i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
