What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
