my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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