I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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