Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
