What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So squirting runs in the family.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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