Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
