what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
