Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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