Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
