wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
