So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize