My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
