She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
