She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
