return my video game
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize