My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
