Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
