i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
