It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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