How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I looked at my own cervix.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
