sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
