3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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