The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
