I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize