let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
