okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
