go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
