I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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