he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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