Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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