i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
