I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Operation Purity has been aborted
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize