I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
