I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize