xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
