he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
