My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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