Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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