i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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