I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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