I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't deserve a penis
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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