Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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