from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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