I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
