I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
